Overcoming Fear

In December, Kellie Edick and I had a combined recital in the music hall at Lichtenberg "Castle" in Kusel. I had been there before for other recitals and for festivals, but I had never played on the piano myself.  

It was not until I came into the room early to set up for the recital and try out the piano, that I realized it was a Grotrian-Stienway (Steinway)!  It was so exciting to be able to play on such a nice piano, but at the same time it made me a little nervous just thinking about it.

The recital went well.  It was fun to watch the students and think not only about how much they have learned, but how much Kellie and I have changed as pianists and piano teachers.

Do you like my German dress?

This recital was a major test for me.  I played Debussy's Claire de Lune and the Christmas piece I played was Sleigh Ride.  Never before have I played such long piece by memory in front of a large group of people.  Some people give me a strange look when I try to explain how important this was to me.  They do not understand how big of a deal this was for me.  All they see is someone who gets up in church and fills in for someone at the last minute like I've been doing it all my life.

  

It has not always been this way.  I have made huge strides in overcoming my fear of playing the piano in front of people.  It's still a problem, but it has gotten a lot better.  I can hide most of my fear, and even squelch it completely in some situations, but I still have a lot to overcome.  At least my leg doesn't shake uncontrollably anymore.

Kellie Edick, Ashley Edick (Kellie's daughter and one of my students) and me.